It’s all true. Soooo true.
What is ALSO true, is that well, you don’t really mind all of these things.
A bit of sleep deprivation? A bit of mess? If that’s the worst of it — it’s not too bad is it? And it’s not forever.Â The payoff is this amazing kid in your life. I am utterly and hopelessly in love with him.
So, it may come as a surprise to everyone when we told our families and friends that we have decided we are not having any more children (when they ask… because it is a regular question!) Are we having another one? And really, let be honest I am not getting any younger am I? Aren’t we worried about having too big of an age gap? Won’t Boss be lonely?
The questions keep coming! Personal ones. I had only been dating Trent 6 months and people were asking me if I thought he was ‘the one’ (and yes I already knew by that stage, but that’s beside the point) and what would I say if he proposed? 6 MONTHS! Then we were married and then the baby questions started… Sheeeeeeeeeeeeshhhhhhhhhh. When are we having children? How many do we want? Do we have a gender preference? (Which is the stupidest question on the planet, because it is something neither of us have ANY control over — and anyway, who cares?) Within weeks of having Boss we were getting ‘are you going to have another one’? And ‘make sure you have them close together so they can play’. Oh MAN. I am in my mid-thirties so yeah, I feel the pressure. I don’t need ANY MORE. Lots of my lovely friends have had their second babies recently, and while I feel so very happy for them, my main thought is — thank goodness it’s not me!
I have no desire in any way shape or form to have any more children, we wanted to awhile ago and then recently that feeling has well and truly gone away.Â I can promise you I am not a horrible, selfish person. If we had decided to have another, it would be purely for Boss, and that reason is not good enough, not when he has a full and very loved-up existence with a village of people around him to teach, guide and play with him. Trust me, the kid is not suffering. Nor will we raise a selfish, bratty child because he is an ONLY child.Â People assume Boss will be out of control because we refuse to smack, Boss has very clear boundaries — we just chose to teach him to respect them without hitting him (ohhh that will some people talking). Anyway, that’s a WHOLE OTHER BLOG ha!
Trent is very close to his brothers and sisters, and I look at his relationship with them and how much he loves them and the banter and bond they have, and that’s probably the only thing that gives me an inkling of doubt. But only an inkling. I have never had dreams of a busload of kids, and I was never a natural with children. I was/ am one of those awkward people with toddlers and babies, until I had Boss. It’s all different with your own kid isn’t it?
I look at my son and just feel complete.Â So its one for us, and now we have made the decision — the pressure it off!