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There’s No Such Thing As Real women!

stop judging

Aren’t all women real? It’s ridiculous!

I understand why people started using it; the term was developed to turn the unrealistic expectations of women on its head. You know, that we aren’t all sweetness and spice and everything nice.

But what is a realistic view? ONLY WOMEN CAN SET THAT BAR.

The only way to make women feel comfortable in their own skins, in their homes, in their workplaces is to ALLOW them to set the standard – and we do this by acceptance, encouragement, support and understanding of each other. Not by hashtagging #realwomen.

All women are real, be they fat, skinny, black, white, yellow, loud, quiet, a mother, and child-free.

I think it pits women against each other.

You see it with men too, “real men don’t do X Y Z”, and it’s usually used in terms of shaming men regarding violence. Which people encourage, and I suppose is a good thing – but a double standard nonetheless.

When I see a picture of a woman who is obviously proud of her stretchmarks put up on social media, I think what a beautiful thing it is, but then I read the hashtag #realwomen, and think “Why do we do this?”

 If you don’t have stretch marks and put up a picture of your smooth stretchmark-free body on social media, does that mean you are not a real woman? I wonder what the response would be if someone with a body without blemish put up a photo and used the same hashtag?

I can guarantee a backlash, the keyboard warriors would be out in a flash spewing their bile all over it.

It’s a bit like that song by Meghan Trainor, “All about that bass”. It’s a great song (and so damn catchy) but with lyrics like “boys like a little more booty to hold at night and “I won’t be no stick figure silicone doll”, well good on you luv, but imagine if some thin chick started writing and singing lyrics about men only liking a skinny booty?

Don’t get me started on #realparenting either.

Or how only #realwomen have messy homes and happy children.

I have a relatively clean and tidy house AND a child and trust me, I’m a “real woman” with a very happy kid. Should I be ashamed I have a clean home?

Instead of talking about “real women” we should we be talking about the unrealistic expectations placed on women. Haven’t we fought long and hard for the likes of voting, maternity leave, equal pay, birth rights – heck just to be respected as an equal?

Do we really need to start a new fad which does not empower women? It just makes us look silly and petty – I mean do I need to clean my house, post up a picture of my shiny floors and hashtag #faker

Of course not.

Stop it, just stop it.

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Jess Steel
Jess Steel
Jess is a FIFO wife, respected columnist, full time worker and mother to one little cutie Oscar. Jess loves wine, cooking, dirty weekends away, reading, watching the Kardashians , snow cones and long walks on the beach. Jess loves fashion ( We can guarantee if its ‘on trend’ though she wont wear it). Jess is also prone to changing her hair colour. Want to see more of Jess? Check out her witty writing at and cook something amazing from her other site